Been a while it seems since I just did a general post. So, this will likely be as the title says a long and rambling post.
Family Matters
Does anyone remember that show? Steve Urkel and his catchphrase: Did I do that?
I’ve got quite the load of parental guilt regarding J’s anxiety/mental health anguish right now. Feeling like I failed Pandemic parenting 101. I mean I was prepared for nuclear winter parenting not pandemic parenting. SIGH. Okay, I was prepared for neither and yes, I know things could be so much worse.
I struggle a bit with what and how much to share of all this. Mainly, I ask myself is it really my story to share? However, I think it might help someone not feel alone should they stumble across this blog (and they’d really have to stumble as I’m loathe to use the whole SEO stuff too often, too much of a headache!). 
It also helps to share my thoughts on it a bit. Clear out a bit of the mental space it’s taking up in my head.
Snow days definitely don’t help when trying to get a kid back to some semblance of a routine. Yesterday was a rough one and a no go on the school front. Followed by more bad news from the band director. He’s sharing that sad news of ineligibility with J today. He’s still in band but because of attendance/grades ineligible for contests. One of his favorite things. I appreciated the warning from the band director who knew it was going to be a tough blow coming as things were starting to look up again.
Hope
At least we have a new therapist who seems a bit better than the last one (or perhaps that’s just wishful thinking) and full evaluation to hopefully get complete answers coming up soon. Just hoping and praying for things to get better as winter falls away into spring and summer. Might be the cause of some of my spring fever. 
Recharging
When I ran to the grocery store on Monday, the everyday bouquets of flowers were marked half-price! Of course I bought some. Or rather I told my husband he bought me some. Ha!
I wanted to share more pictures of them with you here but alas the camera battery needed to recharge this morning as did my phone. Is it just here that all the phone chargers disappear on a scale on equal to socks in the dryer?
Since J did indeed go to school this morning, I plan to use some of this time to recharge myself. Doing what I do not yet know. It’s much too cold to be outside though the sun is shining brightly. Seven degrees with negative wind chills is not exactly walking weather. Perhaps I’ll do the boring mom thing and clean up a bit. A clean house always makes me feel better. Once the camera battery charges, I’ll work on taking more “in focus” photos of the flowers.
Whatever I do, I plan to take my time with it.
Healthy Stuff 
Or maybe it should say unhealthy stuff? I don’t know. The scale number surpassed my scary limit so I’m trying to be a bit more mindful of the crazy amounts of junk I’ve been eating. Stress and emotional eating do not help here. Neither does the abundance of junk food first left from Christmas, then from Valentine’s Day (not quite as much but my husband did buy a giant tub of M&M’s that I keep hiding behind the vitamins. And then, someone keeps bringing back out to the kitchen table.
I have started taking a dose of apple cider vinegar (YUCK!) each morning after eating breakfast and finishing my coffee. It’s supposed to help regulate hormones, another issue happening. I have it on my list today to make a doctor’s appointment for myself. Bottom of the list mom here. Who quite honestly isn’t sure if she’s up to dealing with her own issues until she knows what’s happening with her kid.
Looked for the apple cider vinegar in caplets. So many brands! And why can’t they just have apple cider vinegar? The brand I’d planned to buy adds zinc and vitamin D to their caplets. Um, I don’t remember much from 10th grade biology (actually, I remember quite a bit which is weird) but D,E,A,K are the ones that you don’t want to over do. And I already take a vitamin with C,D, and Zinc.
Final Thoughts 
This might be one for my blogging friends. Do you mentally write posts and then, never quite get the thoughts down on your blog? Or is it just me? Sometimes, I get as far as title: Dealing with Disappointment, Routine Adjustment, or A Glimpse at my Rudolph Day and then, nothing. Other times the whole posts is simply written in my head as I go about my day.
Last week (and really, I still want to officially write this one), I had a whole post about being a “but” going in my mind. Those people (sometimes it’s me) who always finish a happy thought with a negative. Perhaps, part of today’s recharge is going to be be actually writing that post as I really want to share those thoughts.
However, I think I’ve reached the end of this long and rambling post. Thanks for sticking around if you’re still reading. And tell me, how do you recharge?